Xtra stress,
Help me. I need some R
And R. You’re fragile mush
Underneath this hard
Shell. So many
Thoughts, so much bottled up
Inside. You have more
Off days than o



Tried to the max…………
In survival mode……….
Est feels so far away…………


Distressed. I need some
Rest. Constantly
Anxious sometimes aggravated.
Need to listen to my body more.
Exhausted. This
Drama is tiring.

To and Not At

You feel misunderstood,
Constantly misunderstood,
Understand you?
Yeah you wish they would,
If only they could talk to and not AT you.
When you’re anxious,
You need someone to calm you down not yell at you,
Someone to talk to you,
You long to be understood.
Does anyone understand you?
It can get lonely sometimes it can feel like you’re the only person that understands you,
You try to get other people to understand you but you have a hard time.

To and not at,
Why can’t people understand that?
When someone is having an anxiety attack, why do other people feel the need to talk at them?
You need a hug,
You need love or the person should just walk away and give you your space because you deserve it too.

To and not at,
To and not at.
What is so hard about that?
Being misunderstood hurts,
It diminishes your worth.
It makes you feel like you can’t be vulnerable and your trust goes down like the sun when the moon is ready to rise,
You can’t wipe the tears from your eyes,
You can’t wipe the tears from your eyes,
You just want peace tonight.

We Feel

We Feel
We hurt,

We react,

We long to belong.

We wish,
We deal with anxiety.
We find faith in the impossible situations.

We feel,
Deal with positive and negative things and the joy that sunshine brings.
We Laugh,
Have a good time,
We look forward to the future,
Reminisce about good times in the past,
We savor moments and hold them close to our hearts.

We fight,
Stand up for the things we feel are right.
We work,
We try to find our own version of happiness.

Keeps You Up at Night 2

Is it the monsters under your bed or is it the monsters in your head?
You’re in your bed but you can’t fall asleep
You just weeped,
Weeped and weeped.
You can’t fall asleep.
You’re not secure…..
Nothing feels whole,
Nothing feels pure,
You feel dirty.
You wonder “Does anybody even hear me.”
This anxiety feels uncontrollable,
You’re trying to get a handle on this but it’s harder than you think,
You just want things to be perfect,
You become obsessive.
It’s eating you, you’re not eating it,
You can’t even taste it,
You want to make the best of your life but you’re wasting it by worrying about it.
You’re on the sidelines waiting for your time to shine but you’re stagnant because you can’t get out of your own mind.
You live there.
You can’t live in the now because you cling on to the past and you constantly worry about the future,
The present can be useful teacher if you let it do its job,
Stop trying to control things you have no control over.
You want to sleep but you keep fixating on a lot,
Your thoughts are racing,
Your mind is hot.
You forgot how to relax.
Close your eyes,
Lay back,
Listen to me,
Let it go,
Be free.

You Feel Stuck

You Feel Stuck
You just want to bust outta here,
Things feel yucky they don’t feel clear,
You just want to bust outta here but you can’t……..
You can’t and that just ughhhhhh I can’t describe it.
You can’t thrive here anymore,
You need to fly,
You long to say goodbye to this environment.
You’ve had your time here so why are you still here?
You miss your friends,
It’s so hard to catch up with now……
The fact that you’re still here and that hurts ouch.
Everything feels like too much right now,
You feel burdened down,
You long for the day when you get to come out.
You appreciate the good times and you find solace in those memories when you’re having a hard time but that feels temporary when reality hits you on the head……
You’re counting down the days,
Can you make it through the day?
Can you?
Like New Edition said, “Can You Stand The Rain?”
You’re almost done,
You’re almost there.
Your emotions are tense,
You feel bare.
You can’t mess this up,
If you do, you will feel like crap because you let your negativity get to you.
You just want the keys,
You want to leave,
You long to leave but you feel stuck but you’re not out of luck,
Soon you will be done and you will fly like a bird.
Free from the negativity,
Free from the extra anxiety,
I want that to be you and I want that to be me,

What Happens After………

What happens after the confetti is thrown?
What happens after the toast?
After the clock hits twelve and it’s a new year………….
Will you have the same fears?
The celebration is nice but what happens after the dancing
The laughter.

Are you ready for the roller coaster?
Strap in…………..
Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?
You will go through some things……………………
A range full of emotions.
You will have happy times, sad times and everything in between.
Are you ready?

What happens after you make those resolutions?
Will you follow through?
The ball is in your court.
It’s up to you to do what you need to do to pull through,
If no else believes in you,
I do.

What happens after you’ve said goodbye to the previous year?
Are you ready to take control over your life?
Are you ready to conquer your fears or will you just sit there and let another year pass you by?

When will you realize that it is your time?
The time is now.
Life is unpredictable.
We don’t know the cookie crumbles sometimes but choosing to live and not just exist is worth a try,

What happens after the confetti is left on the ground and everyone is sleeping?
What happens after you ring in the new year?

18 of ’18: Honorable Mentions

Happy Friday! Two weeks ago, ’18 of 18, a list that highlighted some 2018’s greatest hits was released. These are the six songs that almost made the cut.

Anitta, “Medicina”

“Da-da-da-da-ra-ra-da-da-da-da-ra-ra, Da-da-dámelo otra vez……….”

Released in July 2018, the message of this catchy reggaeton tune is simple, music is powerful. In her Genius verified interview, Anitta expands on this, stating, “But I’m singing in Brazil for a long time, and I see that music can change people’s life. Sometimes they feel sad or they feel they don’t have force enough anymore, and they’re not strong anymore. And sometimes, music has this power to make them feel better or put them in a good mood to do something.” The colorful video, directed by 36 Grados, was filmed in Hong Kong, Brazil, South Africa, India, Colombia and the United States.

Lauren Jauregui, “Expectations”

“Respect for my time, respect for my space, respect for my energy.”

Expectations is soulful and saucy debut solo single by Lauren Jauregui. In the sultry tune, Jauregui ponders about the whereabouts of her lover by creating different scenarios in her head before coming to the conclusion that all of us, including Jauregui herself, have a lot of expectations that sometimes we wish we didn’t have. Jauregui is one to watch this year. Get ready. Her latest single “More Than That” was released last Friday and its accompanying video was released today. The image above is a still from the visually stunning black and white video where Jauregui serves as the co-editor and creative director. Dir. Lauren Dunn

Rosalía, “PIENSO EN TU MIRÁ (Cap.3: Celos)”

“Pienso en tu mirá, tu mirá, clavá, es una bala en el pecho, Pienso en tu mirá, mirá, clavá, es una bala en el pecho, Pienso en tu mirá, tu mirá, clavá, es una bala en el pecho…………………”

MALAMENTE (Cap.1: Augurio) is a tough act to follow and this song did not disappoint. PIENSO EN TU MIRÁ (Cap.3: Celos) is the second single released from Rosalía’s internationally groundbreaking sophomore smash El mal querer. The production once again combines flamenco with pop, Hip Hop and R&B to create a sound that is sonically pleasing and once again establishes the Spanish singer as a standout amongst her peers. Lyrically, the song is pure poetry.

Shawn Mendes, “Lost in Japan”

“Let’s get lost tonight, let’s get lost tonight, baby, you and I can’t seem to get you off my mind.”

In March of 2018, Shawn Mendes released the first two singles from his third self-titled studio album. One of the singles was the rousing, anthemic and Grammy-nominated “In My Blood” the later was a groovy, early 2000s Timberlake-esque track entitled “Lost In Japan” The song was later remixed by EDM superstar Zedd and a Lost In Translation inspired video was released in October 2018. From its splendid Piano introduction by co-writer and co-producer Nate Mercereau to its groovy lyrics and production by Mercereau, Teddy Geiger, Scott Harris, Louis Bell and Mendes himself, this song makes you want to get up and dance.

Silva e Anitta, “Fica Todo Bem”

“E fica tudo bem, fica, fica, fica tudo bem, fica tudo bem, fica, fica, fica tudo bem.”

Fica Todo Bem takes your mind to a different place. This relaxing tune is the perfect song to lift a mood or calm your anxiety in the midst of stress. Brazilian singer Silva comissioned Anitta for this easy going laid back track about loving yourself and loving others. The quirky and delightful video is also a must watch. The above image is from the colorful video. Dir. and script, Breno Pineschi and Rafael Cazes.

Alessia Cara, “Trust My Lonely”

“Go get your praise from someone else, you did a number on my health.”

Released in October 2018 as the second single from her sophomore album The Pains of Growing (which you should check out), Trust My Lonely makes a clear statement and advises the listeners to trust their lonely. Cara eloquently and metaphorically tells the subject of the song off in the most melodic way. Yes, metaphorically to emphasize Cara’s brilliant use of figurative language. Cara’s soulful voice and sassy lyrics are set to the tune of an easy going reggae beat produced by Pop & Oak. The video, with the help of some cute scenery highlights Cara’s spunky and humorous personality. Trust My Lonely is extremely empowering for sure.

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