I can’t cry in front of you.
If I do, will you want me?
Nevermind this is too daunting to think about,
So daunting it’s haunting me.
You can cry in front of me,
I’m used to being the source of strength for everybody.
I can cry alone,
I can cry behind closed doors at home.
That’s easy, believe me,
I can be me, I don’t have to act.
Forget that.
You don’t want to see weakness from me.
Vulnerability is scary.
Will you roll your eyes and chase me away?
Will you fade into the background?
Will you freeze?
You can cry in front of me because comforting you is easy.
It’s not hard for me.
I’m a rock, I don’t break.
You can’t see me shake.
Everything is okay.
I have to tell you, “Everything is okay.”
I can’t break,
You don’t want my weight,
You have enough weight,
You have enough already.
There is so much you don’t see,
I always appear happy stone faced.
In reality, I often feel misplaced.
Maybe my ego is too big,
Maybe I’m wearing a wig to hide the fact that I’m bald.
I can’t cry in front of you, I have to protect from my inner tsunami.
I don’t want to knock you over.
I can write this.