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Nineteen

So About My Hair……………………….

So about my hair………………
This is the way that it grows out of my scalp.
Why do you care how I wear it?
Cut it, dye it, fry it, where I buy it,
How I process it?
Straight great,
Coily, wear it straight you’ll get a good job,
A good date.
Fro no,
Weave, you don’t love yourself,
Leave.
Nappy, well if that’s what makes you happy but its not for me and these are my pet peeves.
For the young girls who struggle with their beauty, I grieve.
I grieve because they’ve been conditioned to believe that their beauty is
Scary,
Ugly.
And yes I do wear weave from time to time but it doesn’t mean I think that my hair is ugly.
My coils are springy and bouncy,
They are me.

 

So about my hair…………
Stare,
Stare all you want.
I’ll rock it without a care.

 

 

So about my hair…….
Yeah you over there,
I can do what I want with it because its my hair on my head.

 

So about my hair………
If you think its political,
I need you to do more thinking of the critical kind
Because that’s not what I had in mind and if you think your snickers and comments will put a bind on my mind,
Well you’re wrong.
Because I’ll smile.
You’re messing with the wrong one hunny…..
Oops she’s being a little too sassy for me,
No dear I’m just being me.
So about my hair…….
Why do you care?

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#BrokeTho

 

Broke
Broke as a joke,
Broker than expired coke,
Coca Cola……….
Nah she doesn’t roll the other way,
That is not how my hips sway but anyway back to the story,
Its not rocket science and its not like finding Dory,
I’m just a broke queen in her 99 cent glory…………
Kind of gory right?
It’s a fight to keep a pretty penny in my pocket but I’m not a frugal individual so lets put my responsibilities in an electrical socket
Because I spend endless money mindlessly on food must haves everyday
Ugggggh the cravings turned into necessities they won’t go away,
They’re actually lowkey bae and I’m getting corny but the food is just right for me,
He, my appetite, tastebuds and flesh agree,
We are carnal beings,
Yup that’s somewhat humanity,
All we care about is money……………
What about family, friends and our hunnies
The tone of this piece changed because the spirit guided me
Because I want to spend eternity with my father,
Eternity.
Where material things are dust entities.

Some Poem

It’s almost the AM and I’m getting bored,

The party’s almost over and the room is a one big, collective and harmonized snore.
I’m the weird kid in the corner with my phone,
Awake and alone.
This kid’s parents aren’t home and the room reeks of pizza and patrone,
My friends refuse to interrupt their slumber and take me home,
My car’s in the shop and it costs more than my loan still feelin’ like a kid and I’m legally grown,
Grown, alone and almost reekin’ of patrone…..
I’m sinking deeper in my thoughts and regretting the consequences from glazed donut I bought
The prize was cheap and the donut was freshly baked,
Hot but the calories were a lot and I gotta tighten up my diet according to the doc to get my vitals on a healthy lock and reduce endless nagging from Mom and Pops,
As they nag, my patience level drops so dangerously low like judgement of delightfully drunk drivers.
The party’s over and the room swoons with plates, confetti balloons and shrooms…………………………
I’m the party pooper in the corner who didn’t try a devilish thing…
Boys came my way, I had nothing to say and then I gave them an “obsessed” circa 2009 Beyonce look, they walked away and then I swayed in suede and played with the reasons I agreed to ditch studying for the biology test,
I digress………..
Or……………typing that 20 page paper where my creative juices on solutions to global warming are disappearing like vapor and its conflicting and guilt wrenching to the core and now sitting here composing this poem?
Some poem.
But honestly…………………..I’m bored.
Somebody take me home or……………You know what?
I’m walking home.

Blue Bells

Joy is in the air and the sun will shine on Christmas day but this worry and pain won’t go away.
I’m supposed to be happy,
I’m supposed to be okay but I’m not at ease
The pain won’t go away,
I mean its the holidays,
I’m supposed to be okay,
Jesus was born on Christmas day but why can’t he take the pain away?
My arm feels stiff and I can barely lift it,
My mindset is misplaced and I don’t know how to shift it.
I’m supposed to be happy,
Jolly,
I mean I’m sitting by the christmas tree…………….
The tree has purple, green, red, silver and gold bells but there are too many blue ones and that makes me go oh well……………
My mind is the tree and the blue bells represent sadness and anxiety that prevent me from being truly happy,
There are too many blue bells on my christmas tree.

Christmas Cuddle

The air is frigid,

The pavements are filled with snow and this hot chocolate is legit but thinking about you is like a bad habit I can’t quit,
Cookies and milk wait by the chimney for good ol’ saint nick and while I’m excited to see him,
I look forward to your kiss more and when you I get it I won’t cry because I’ll be caught in the bliss of your lips and your hands around my hips.
Holiday programming infests the tv screen in our room.
The room where we laugh,
Share memories,
The room where you cuddle me and tell me you love me,
The room where I feel comfortable and free because your next to me,
Not anxious and lonely………..
So baby……….
I look forward to your christmas cuddle,
When you never let me go,
When we reminisce by the fire and watch the snow fall outside of our window.
I look forward to the warmth of your snuggle
Because it always lets me know that I won’t spend the holiday alone at home.
I’m too grown for silly little materialistic presents,
I want you right now in the present.
My christmas buddy,
You and your fluffy sweaters,
Your smile,
Wow I want you to come home right now so I can stare at it for a while.
I look forward to your company,
So baby…………..
I look forward to your christmas cuddle,
When you never let me go,
When we reminisce by the fire and watch the snow fall outside of our window.

Sunny Christmas

It’s Christmas day and the sun is out…………………
It’s brightness represents what the holiday is about.
I run outside, stare at the sky and think “What did I do to deserve this!” My oh my,
I run inside, I’m alive!
I want some eggnog ice cream to eat by the tree and I wanna look for the presents that belong to me.
The sun has invigorated me and I can be as happy as I wanna be
Because it’s a sunny christmas!
Yellow, blue and bright,
No need to shovel away pesky snow tonight amongst the lights.

 

Sunny Christmas,
Never had one in my life and I can’t wait to let the warm weather be my guide
This christmas time in my life
I thank God for today, the perfect
Christmas day…………..

 

While I’m at it, I’ll whip up some peppermint lemonade or maybe an eggnog shake with some oreos………
I’ve got eclectic tastes that are kinda cool ya know
So I’ll cherish this forever and forever and forever and ever

 

Sunny Christmas,
Never had one in my life and I can’t wait to let the warm weather be my guide
This christmas time in my life
I thank God for today, the perfect
Christmas day…………..

 

Christmas Rain

December 25th………………….
Snow is what makes this day legit right?
I mean I have hope that it will show up and that I’ll stare at it from my window with hot cocoa in my cup……….
Well right now that possibility in my city is itty bitty,
Far and few,
It’s likely that I’ll be waking up to some rain-filled dew on my grass but who cares?
I’ll look past that, spend the day with my family and celebrate the savior that has ransomed me and set me free in the midst of this christmas rain…………………………………….

Crown(Isaiah 61:3)

Whenever I’m down,
I have to remember that I wear a crown.
A crown I don’t deserve I don’t deserve sometimes.
Mercy?
For someone like me?
Really?
Lovingkindness even when I cause him stress?
Wow, I’m blessed and I guess I’m pressed on the fact that I mess up so much that I don’t deserve it.
I don’t place the crown on my head………
He does.
Crown.

Cling to Me

Lonely?
Cling to me.
So you want hype from the world?
Oh girl……………..
I did not create you in your mother’s womb to be that type.
“Notice me! “Notice me Senpai!” “Notice me!”
I already notice you because I know you.
Cling to me.
Cling to me.
Scared?
Don’t worry I hear your prayers,
Don’t fear.
Cling to me.
Broken?
Need an altar?
Have baggage?
Cling to me.
I will love you until then end of time,
Abundantly.
Broken family?
Cling to me.
Losing your sanity?
Cling to me.
I want to see you on the other side,
Come to the light.
Cling to me,
Trust me,
Put your faith in me.
You. Will. See. Me. One. Day.
Let me give you epiphanies,
Please.
Cling to me.

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