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Twenty-Two

Tender

If its supposed to be tender than why is it tough,
So rough.
Families are supposed to stay together.
Why are you looking at this like its a “Whatever”
Families are supposed to be together,
It’s not a shelter,
It’s a prison with grueling conditions.
They’re just children,
Have mercy on them,
They’re just children.
What’s “tender” about this?
Nothing………….
Nada,
Zip,
Zilch.
I don’t understand it.
Why would someone do this?
They’re just kids,
KIDS.
Why would someone do this?

 

 

Tender?
Where?
Not there,
Not here…………..
This is so much to process,
We’re supposed to making progress,
This is literally stressing me out,
We need to figure things out.
I don’t want people to think that this is what we’re all about.
I’m actually outraged,
Enraged.
This is on a world stage.
Dreams are valid,
Dreams are real,
Why do you feel the need to steal that from someone else?
I don’t get it,
It boggles my mind.
This is not new.
Tender.

 

Tender……..
When I think about that word I think about comfort,
Security,
Mercy.
Something so soft,
So warm,
Something that makes you think of heaven.
Tender not tough.
Why is it so rough?
Tender.

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Two-Two

I can’t believe that I’m still here,

After all of these years,
The tears,
The fears,
I’m still here………………
I have a lot to celebrate but I don’t acknowledge it.
Life………………
Huh
I’m too scared of it,
Always in fear of things not working out……….
I haven’t been my best but I still have a lot to celebrate.
I know myself better,
I’m not trying to run away from who I am,
That’s not clever,
I’m starting to treasure the things that make me,
Me.
I’m actually starting to like my personality,
Which used to be rarity.
I’m starting to realize that I’m not so bad after all,
I’m just flawed like the rest of humankind,
Ugggggh my mind.
I’d give anything to be 12 again,
I would be my own best friend,
I was my own worst enemy instead,
I couldn’t get outta my head.
I mean I still have that problem but I’m now realizing it,
My bad habit caught up with me,
I can’t carry that into the rest of my twenties,
I gotta free myself from that,
I can’t wear that hat for the rest of my life………….
I finally let adulthood in my house and she’s still crashing on my sofa,
I’m over ha but she’s not over me.
I just gotta let her be,
She wants to be apart of me.
I just want to put on a tuu-tuu and prance around like I’m two
But I’m 11*2 now
I need to figure myself out,
I’m trying to and honestly I’m loving it too.

Celebrate Myself

I’m not there yet but I’m on my way,

So you know what, I’m gonna celebrate myself today.
I’ve come a long way and I can say that I’m still here,
I made it.
I’ve changed,
I’m not the same.
I’m growing and I’m proud of it,
This evolution is like a hot stove,
So hot you can’t touch it.
Sorry…………………………….
Sometimes its just so hard to find good things to say about myself but you know what,
I have my health and I have people that love me and want to help me become the me that I want to be but that still starts with me and you know what,
One day I’ll be free but it starts with me…….
I’m starting my legacy early,
It starts with me.
I’ve seen and done a lot already,
If only I got out of my head things would be better,
That inner critic is constantly in my head,
I can’t let her get the best of me,
My joy belongs to me.
I need to let positivity lead,
It’s time to celebrate me.
I need to do it in spite of adversity,
In spite of the things that try to knock me down.
I’m not a complete failure,
Not a complete disaster,
Not a pile of waste………………….
I’m a human who has made and still makes mistakes
And I’m still loved.
I’m still loved.
Maybe I should give some of that to myself,
It’s good for my health.

Summer 90s Baby

Sittin’ in the summer sun sippin on fruit punch with a sandwich, chips and an apple for lunch,

Can’t wait to chew on my blue raspberry flavored bubble gum.
Wait! I think I hear the ice cream truck,
I need to search my pocket for a buck,
Ooh I have one,
Just my luck,
Wait! Where’s the truck? I swear it was just here….
Welp guess it’s time to go inside and blast Fantasy by Mariah Carey to make me feel better…………
Gosh I’m really showing my age but I don’t care….
Its not like I’ll be 30 in a decade,
More like 8 yea………..
Okay!
Today is a good day and this is my season and I was born in one of the best decades,
I was born in the heat,
The blaze.
I’m that girl!
I feel like twirling in the 100 degree sun,
I hope I don’t get too hot,
That won’t be fun.
I’m honestly so fierce,
I have extremely piercing dull brown eyes….
Ok WHAT am I writing?
I’m fighting with words I don’t have,
All I want to say is that I’m glad to be a summer 90s baby…………
We bring the heat,
We’re moving the the beat of own drums…..
As a matter of fact,
We are the beat when it comes to nostalgia and memories,
We are the ones that companies want to please……………
Sip on that hot tea,
As a matter of fact,
Can I have a cold Arnold Palmer please,
Oooh I think I wanna mix this lemonade with Raspberry tea.

Ice Cold Drink

I’m trying to come up with things…………….

I’m trying but boy is it hot out here…………
I need a drink,
Maybe I’m over thinking things.
I feel too hot,
I’m trying to find inspiration but I think have writer’s block,
Oh crap I can’t get inside the door is locked…………
Where’s my key?
I thought that it was with me,
Gosh its sweltering out here…………..
I’m crying real tears right now.
Its not just sweat,
Speaking of it,
I’m covered in it.
Okay let’s sit down,
Let’s get back to writing…………
Maybe I can write about the stinky scorching and turn it into something spicy but you see the heat isn’t being nice to me…….
Ok no
It’s a beautiful day and the flowers look nice,
The sky is bright and for the first time in a long time I feel like things are right in my life,
I mean I’m not completely alright but things are looking up in my life.
I’m waking up and I’m and feeling better,
Okay now I need water,
Maybe I should knock on the neighbor’s door for some,
Wait………………….
I think someone’s coming,
Oh yes they have a key,
Good for me,
I’m so bloody thirsty and sweaty,
Yuck………..
I feel dirty,
Thirsty,
Dirty,
Thirsty,
Quenched,
Replenished.
Ok now I can think,
I just had an ice cold drink and sun is in the sky.
What a beautiful day,
Oh my.

The 4th

It’s that time of year again,
The time of the year when we celebrate being American,
When we bust out the good ol grill and inhale charcoal fumes again.
The time we draw close to family and friends that we hold near and dear to our hearts………………………………
The time of the year where we reflect on the meaning of freedom.
Are we there yet?
The celebrations seem uniform from the surface but if we look at things deeper,
It takes on a different meaning meaning for everyone under the July summer sun
But one thing is for sure,
All of us long for freedom.
Today we get to reflect on how far we’ve come and while there is more work to be done,
Look at how far we’ve come,
We’re still here.
It doesn’t matter what you look like or where you come from,
You belong here.
I don’t care what anyone says,
This is your home and you deserve to stay,
Everyone will recognize that one day,
This is your place and you can stay.
Today shouldn’t be the only celebration
We should celebrate it every day in every way,
This is your place and you can stay.
Achieving the American dream is a lot harder than it seems but it is possible,
It is believable.
We’re more than just fireworks, junk food, red, white and blue,
One particular hue……………………..
We’re multifaceted, multicultural and that’s okay………….
That’s what makes us beautiful.
We don’t look the same,
Love the same,
We don’t praise the same but we all want freedom,
Equality,
A safe space to just breathe and that’s something we can achieve,
We just need to believe it and act on it.
Sitting here won’t get us anywhere,
Let’s make that very clear.

Beauty in the Sky

Do you wanna go outside?
We’ve been inside all day,
Come on……………………
It’s the Fourth of July,
It’s a warm summer night…………………
Don’t you want to marvel at the bright sky?
The colors,
The sound,
The way it makes your heart pound,
Don’t worry I’ll hold your hand…………
We have each other and that’s all we need,
C’mon is what we need,
Come outside with me.
It’s almost over,
Come on.
I know you’ll love it.
You and I staring at the beauty in the sky,
Then we can lock eyes and tell each other how much we mean to each other and how important we are to each others lives…
We can bond over the beauty in the sky.

A-M-E-R-I-C-A

Ageing,
Miraculous, Magnificent,
Endearing,
Rich.
In
Chaos
At times but still amazing.

P-A-T-R-I-O-T-I-C

Proud,
Active,
Tentative,
Regal,
Iconic,
On
Time sometimes,
Inclusive sometimes,
Classic.

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