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Twenty

Never Stop Dreaming

Look to the stars and follow your heart,
You’ll go far.
Don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t,
Can’t is bland,
Remember you have goals,
You my friend have a plan.
No one said it was going to be easy,
Things take time, believe me.

 

Never stop dreaming,
Think about that one journey song, find it, turn it on and sing along.
Hardships come to make you strong.
Right now, your head hurts,
For what its worth,
The pain will end,
It will subside and you will be alright.
You have to believe that.
Your heart is broken and you feel like life has slapped you in the face but believe me you will find your place one day.
Wait.
Healing is on the way.
I know this feeling of uncertainty isn’t going away right now but healing is on the way and the pain will be gone.

 

 

Never stop dreaming.
Anything can happen,
The impossible is possible.
We’re almost out of the tunnel and the light is ahead.
Get ready,
Steady your hand,
It doesn’t have to shake,
There’s more to life than heart break
Never stop dreaming.

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Deep Breaths

I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere……
You’re scared…..
Please don’t be
You have me.
Grab my hand and never let go,
I know more than you think I know.
I’m so here for you,
I care for you.
Please don’t cry,
I’m by your side.
You don’t have to run and hide,
I know who you are on the inside.
When your losing hope, I’ll be there to help you cope.
You have to trust me……….
I can’t guarantee that everything will be perfect but I can guarantee that I’ll be here.
I’ll be here to dry your tears when life doesn’t go your way…
I’ll be here to put a smile on your face.
I’m on your side when no one else is,
Don’t dismiss my loyalty, to me you are royalty…..
Relax, I got you.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath,
Don’t fret.
I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.

Worst Case Scenario 

You can’t move.
You don’t like this feeling and
You pray for fast healing.
You fear the worst and it hurts.
You can’t see the bright side and you try to hide the fact that you feel this way.
This feeling isn’t going away……………You have so much to look forward to but you feel like everything is going down the drain,
It causes strain on your heart.
You feel like you’re falling apart.
You feel like an idiot for feeling this way, you’re trying to pray but you hate waiting……………………………………………
You stay up late because you’re afraid to go to sleep.
Can you sleep?
That’s the question………………..
You look at everybody else’s life and wonder why it looks like their thriving, when you feel deprived……………..
Are you dead or alive inside?
How do you get by?
You want to cry but you tell yourself it’s a sign of weakness………
What a lie.
You’re in need of a lullaby.

Where Are You?

You’re angry.
They told you to trust him and things are getting worse.
You pray and you pray,
You hope and you hope and nothing is happening.
You’re trying to cope………
They tell you and they don’t know.
You’re angry at yourself and you’re angry at him.
Your patience is wearing thin as you try to look within, nothing is working.
Hopelessness is your kin.
They told you to trust him.
Why are things getting worse?
You feel like a piece of dirt because you’re extremely hurt.
You believed what they said and you take it to bed every night,
You fight against not believing it.
You crumble bit by bit……………
You stamp your feet in anger and you don’t know what to do?
“Why haven’t my prayers been answered?”
“What am I gonna do?”
“They told me to trust you………..”
“Where are you?”

What God Said

I’m still here.
Let go of your fear and let me do my job.
It’s going to be okay, stop listening to what the devil says,
He doesn’t know your fate.
Great things are coming, just wait.
I’m on time, I’m never late.
Rest in your faith.
This is going to shape you.
Please I still love you, I know it’s tough.
It feels rough but you’re going to be okay,
You’re going to be okay.

Morning Thoughts 

Lying in bed thinking about you……………
I wish you were here to dry my tears and ease my fear.
This is all new to me and it won’t become clear to me until you get here……but you can’t come…….
I miss you and I just desperately want to be with you, Tell me that this will be over soon.
I opened my eyes and fear struck my heart the realization that we’re apart just hit me like a brick
My sadness is kind of thick but I’m trying to hide it,
I don’t want others to find me annoying because of it……….so I try to hide it.
I don’t want to look like a sad prick.
If someone sees me as weak it makes it hard to speak because in that moment, I feel less than.
I want to be seen as a respectful woman…………
My need to express my emotions are my weakness,
I hate ruining things and I don’t want to be an outcast so I wear this mask of pretending that everything is okay, when it’s not…………..
When my sadness is all I got and it’s hot and bothered…………
I miss you, sometimes I don’t know what to do…………
I just want you to hug me and tell me it’s going to be okay so you can take this ache away……….
This pain and this strain,
Please take it away…………
Ugggggh it’s too bad you’re far away.
The thought of it makes me want to tear up and before you know it, I’ll drown in my own tears due to my constant fear……………
I just want you to save me dear, make things clear.
Ease my fear………
Man, I just want you here………
Come here, oh wait………….you can’t.

10:00 AM Writer 

I can’t get out of bed…….
There are bags underneath my eyes and fear consumes my head,
I have a long day ahead.
There is so much to do and care about today…….
Some of it is useful and some of it is pointless…….
That is why I stay stressed, I can’t slow down and acknowledge that I’m blessed because I’m constantly searching for ways to impress.
When I’m not succeeding, I feel naked you know undressed……..
I don’t like that feeling…..
I need healing but it starts with me.
I need to change my mindset in order to be free.
I hold on to what others think of me and I can’t let me be me………
That is why I drown in misery.
I can’t let me be……..
I’ve been hurt too much, it makes it really hard to trust people…….
I put up a wall yet I remain feeble……
I’m scared.
I don’t want to get hurt again…..
I don’t
I hope I can heal because I don’t want to do deal with this anymore……..
I’m starting to mature…….
I’m starting to see that there is more to life……
No one told me that letting go of who I used to be would hurt…..
Transition periods are always the best and worst.
It’s like I’m giving birth to a new mindset
For what it’s worth, I used to be comfortable in that misery.
I’m definitely out of my comfort zone now and I’m forced to deal with these issues away from home……
So far away……..
In all honesty, I’m homesick and I try to hide it.
I try to hide it because I don’t want to be annoying.
I constantly fear being annoying……
I want to be liked so badly……..
I don’t want to be left out…….
This is getting annoying and it’s making me upset……
I care way too much.
Why?
Why?
Why?
I have the answer but I don’t want to admit it……at this rate I should and quit this.
I need to quit this and get some logic, I need it.

Inner Dialogue 

I felt left out today but I’m not gonna cry about it, I’ll hide it.
I’m gonna let them see me cry.. .. they can’t, it would be too much.
So I’ll hide all my emotions on the inside…..
I’m hurt but I’m not going to say anything because I don’t want to be annoying……..
No one likes the annoying person and no wants to be the annoying person…….
When I’m emotional, I think people find me annoying because I’m used to people finding me annoying and then I end up hurting…….
This is why I come off guarded…..
When I’m upset, I need you to hug me not yell at me!
Put your arms around and tell me it’s okay.
Is that too much to ask?
I would do the same for you……..
Can you do that for me too?
Why can’t I let myself express myself……..
I hold back, sometimes it’s good and most of the time its bad…….
I don’t want to get hurt again,
I don’t want to get hurt again.
I don’t want to lose friends……….
I just want everything to be perfect…..
I just want to be perfect……
I want everyone to like me……
Me for me but someone else is who I’m trying to be to please everyone but me
But me………
You hide who you really are because you don’t want to be left outside,
It’s too chilly out there……
You try to act like you don’t care but this is the gum that is stuck in your hair.

All In

You waste time focusing on the wrong things……
Count your blessings.
You stress over frivolous matters and that is why your life is in tatters.
Stop and take it all in……
This is your life and you have to live it.
Misery loves company, will you join her?
She longs for a partner……….
A play date……
Will you accept her invitation because you hate your life?
It’s your choice, not mine………
I can only give you advice so be wise…..
Your surroundings are beautiful and so are you take gratitude in that…….
Bitterness makes your life fall flat.
You have a lot to learn……
Respect your environment and celebrate it.
Don’t hate or debate it, celebrate it.
You are blessed.
Go outside when you feel stressed, sit there for awhile and smile.
If it’s raining, listen to it and let it soothe you,
Let the tranquility move you.
Take it all in and count your blessings.

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